Haiz my leave was spent swimming in NYP. And today was even worse. It was raining o heavily that we can't swim so we slack around amk hub. Harrold really can eat sia. Eat mos burger, old change kee and the durian puff and he still say he is hungry. The guys leave first coz they got something on and I stay at amk hub waiting for Pear. Haha. We went sumo house to eat. We order alot of food and it only cost us 17 bucks. Very cheap man. Haha then we went changi airport to study. She study for her exam while I study my AWT exam. Haha bit most of the time we were playing tic tac toe and gossiping. Had dinner at popoye. The one at changi airport is way better than the one at spore flyer. And damn sianz la wait for whole afternoon and can't even see the A380. Really like to study at changi airport and who know maybe we can see some familiar faces.

I realise I still love you after all these times. I keep lying to myself and others that I have already given up on you. But the true is I couln't. I still think of you, dream of you, keep looking at our photo etc. I feel like telling you that I really miss you alot and hope that you will come back to me. But I just lack the courage to do so becoz of the obstacles. I really am a coward. I try loving other girl but it didn't work coz the feeling is just not there. I only having feeling for you. You are the woman that I loved the most and will ever love. I won't love any girl but you. I really regret giving you the cold shoulder and now you are ignoring me. And this feeling really suck when the person you loved so damn much doesn't care about you anymore. I think I really break her heart this time. If only God will give me a chance to rectify my mistakes. I know you are sad and it make me feel really guilty becoz I am the causes of it all. I will do everything I can to make sure that you will be happy always even at the cost of my own happiness. This is the least I could do.

ARGH!!! This week damn freaking busy. Need to study and work. Start working at 8a.m. and finish everything at ard 6.30 to 7 p.m. Then 18th may is my resit for the AWT Exam. I so afraid that I will fail again. Then june is my technician qualification exam and must pass that exam to be officially a member of the sqn coz I am still only a OJT now. Can't even call myself a technician unless I pass the exam. And not only that, 1st july I will be promote to cpl but I need to pass my IPPT to be promote and I can't even pass my 2.4km run coz I got abnormal ECG. If I run too fast my heart will pain. Need to pass this pass that. Wa lau eh stress ar!!!

Haha yesterday went party world with Dennis, Chun wei and Jack. Haha coz I abit emo so nv sing much. Dennis chinese really cannot make it. Chun wei really a lot of pattern there. The most normal is Jack and surprisingly he can sing very well. Overall was fun going singing with them. Then went to bugis to shop. Haha Dennis spent alot on clothes. Extreme makeover for him. Haha. Jack and I spent mostly on food. I am so greedy now. At night meet Pear for supper. Then Dennis insist on tagging along. He say he like to be friend with her. YA RIGHT!!! Kiss my ass. Dun think I dunno wat you are up to. Want to woo her must go through me first. Need to queue up also leh coz many people interested in her. Anyway Pear brought my favourite chicken wing from Chomp Chomp. She very nice hor. Eh dun treat me so nice leh Pear. Later I fall for you ho sia. Haha juz kdding.

Stella scolded for me being a jerk to someone on fri. Haha I really didn't noe that until I show the msn message to my bro. He say I should just bang my head to the wall and that person should be cursing me now. Really sound like a jerk meh??

Haha this is my 100th entry.

Went to cut hair today and I think of all the stupid hairstyles I have, this is the most guai one. No choice la need to change to a boy boy and innocent look. Having flu and cough again. Feeling terrible now.

Five more days to my leave. Must tahan!!! Shit sia my IPPT coming le. Muz go and train le. Damn it man I gain 3.5kg. My weight now is 74.5kg. Muz go on diet. Anyone want to accompany me to jog?? Haha.

再一次等待你愛的是我

Haha went out with michelle today. Not playing tennis this weekend coz my back hurt and not to mention I suck at it after so many lessons. Jilat sia my back hurt for almost 2 months le and I even finish my painkillers le. Anyway, we went to watch fast and the furious 4. Didn't expect the show to be that BORING. I can't even see the cars racing. After the movie, we walk from cathay to bugis. Wander aimlessly around coz we got no idea where to go. Really for a moment Singapore's so boring. Then saw My Secret Garden near bugis so we decide to give it a try. We were not entertained as they only open at 6p.m. So we were cam whoring outside the place. Haha only two table were occupied. And seriously man everything was too overpriced. But at least went to try the first time. Oh ya dun get the wrong idea, we are not dating. Is becoz 2 idiots ps us the last minutes. Haha anyway you all should noe who la.

Argh monday coming liao. More work to do le and I haven't even enjoy myself. Can't wait for my 1 week leave to come. Bear until next friday then free le. I need to buy so many things, need to buy a pouch for my phone and a slipper coz my idiot brother spoilt mine. But no one accompany me sia. I am a lonely boy. Haiz.

Heard from Stella that two guys are wooing mindy now. And one of them is my arch enemy edwin. Of coz he will make his move now coz I am out of the picture le. Last time he still openly tell their batch mates that he likes mindy. And he even say it in front of me. Like I am invisible like that. Maybe he is the reason why mindy and I broke up. If it's really true then he better not let me see him coz I will punch the hell out of him. Haha but anyway good for mindy. Happy to know that she has moved on. Wish her all the best in her new relationship but definitely not with edwin.

I fail my AWT exam today. So no more promotion for me. Really damn disappointed in myself and I have studied so hard for the exam. I even switch off my phone so that no one will distract me during my revision. Maybe I should start giving myself more pressure liao. A lot of people have high hope and expectation for me and now I have disappointed them. I don't even know how to face them. I started askng myself if it is time for me to give up. If only someone were here to cheer me up now.

Took one week leave but will only start on the 27th april. Hopefully they wun cancel my leave juz becoz I fail the exam. I am so going to enjoy and relax myself coz I really dunno when I can apply leave again. Maybe this is the time for me to reorganize myself so that I wun be such a failure again.

Some feelings are so hard to be understood.
You don't even know why you feel the way you feel.
You don't know how to make it go away.
Is that a sign that even I don't understand you at all?

Tml exam again and quite stress coz if anyone fail, the whole group muz come back weekend to help each other to study.

Today damn fucking pissed off. I was the IC for the past 2 days. And today I was suppose to perpare the attendenace for who is gg to AFS to attend the seminar. And I sms to xuan yu to find out if he is gg back. But I msg the wrong person without knowing it at all. So I assume that he is not attending since he nv reply me. But today he came back and say he nv receive my sms. Then I went to check my phone and realise I msg the wrong person. And the instructor scold the shit out of me and say my leadership skill suck. He even deduct points on my leadership skill. Actually I am not angry with with xuan yu coz he really nv receive it. But I am damn fucking angry with the person who receive my sms. Coz the person nv even make an effort to tell me that I had sent to the wrong person. Guess what I did?? I delete that person contact from my phone so that I wun make that mistake again. That person really pissed me off. So angry with that person.

It sucks to be me. Totally. First this and now that. Suicide crossed my mind. I just didn't have the courage to do it. From way up here seems like a very long way down to jump. I'd probably have not enough time to catch my last breathe. Haha. Life is really hard. But there is always something or some people out there to make me realise that life is still so beautiful with them in my life.

I really hate exam. It made me all stress up. And not to mention that some people keep disturbing my revision. Keep asking me when I want to celebrate my belated birthday when I KEEP TELLING THEM I HAVE NO INTENTION OF DOING THAT COZ I NEED TO STUDY FOR MY AWT. Can't you guys just let me study peacefully.

Today went to orchard with Ah poon and vincent. Went to buy a running short. Relax not the super ultra short de. Is those normal de. And it doesn't look gay at all. Then went to changi airport to study. All those memories suddenly resurface again.

I think I have really fall in love with you. I love u till I actually can be so fake...so naive...so silly...so dumb...so idiot. 愛能讓人失去自己. I cant find myself back.

Bernard told me something funny last night regarding a man and a monkey. But it's really true about it. It's talking about a relationship, saying that, one shouldn't dilly-dally during 'courting' period and should hit on the right timing.

For example:
A person holding a banana, trying to get the monkey down the tree. The monkey is retarded and after a long period of time till dun want come down and when it decided to come down, that person get sick and tired liao. And eventually, give up and walk away.The monkey left wif nothing.

Sooo bored at home. Family went oversea left me alone at home. Haiz why can't I enjoy myself like what they are doing right now. Next friday exam AGAIN. WISH ME GOOD LUCK!! Haha.

OK Tuesday was very stress coz the instructor test us on how much we know about the aviation industry. We were like so blur coz we dun understand most of the question that he ask. So I got no choice but to call er...mindy for more information. Lucky she was in singapore. Otherwise cfm kena frm the instructor.

Wednesday was my birthday. Lots of work to do on that day sia. The guys gave me a small treat in camp. Haha thx guys. And thx to all those who wish me happy birthday. Sorry if I didn't reply you back coz I was really busy that day. Then mama gave me a surprise. She went to my sqn to look for me. Really so shocked to see her there. Haha appreciate the effort and of coz the cheesecake that she baked for me. Evening went with my family to holland village to eat.

Thursday I was chosen to do a short presentation on the LIF topic. Lucky I gave all the information. Otherwise cfm die. And dunno whats up with us during the discussion. We were sorta high. And I think I'm really lucky to have such crazy guys around to at least ease my stress from all the accumulation of work day by day. The instructors release us around 12nn. So we went k-box to sing. Haha I think we really went crazy and high there. Then evening meet Pear for dinner. Had dinner at meritus mandarin with that lovely girl to celebrate my belated bdae. We head to chatterbox for dinner. Haha had their famous chicken rice. DELICIOUS!!!

Today went to learn tennis from mama. I still suck at it after so many lesson. Gyess I really got no talent. Then meet the guys for badminton. Then worse it start to rain so we went starbuck to chill. But I was surfing facebook with my phone all the time. Then the guys went home for dinner. I had my dinner alone at Carl Jr. Went home to study after that.

Haha rmb my previous entry about my beloved. Haha it was a FAKE. It was actually a scheme that mama and I came up with to trick you all. She produced the script while I made it more convincing and post to my blog. All of you really belive that I am attach. Ya I noe you all are going to scold me lame again. So go ahead. Haha. Actually I like someone but recent her attitude really pissed me off. So I think I hate her now more than I like her.

Thx guys for the gifts and helping me celebrating my birthday. Love you guys. Especially dennis and chuan wei and jack, you guys are really my buddies, brothers and best friends. And my sisters for the 22 packs of kinder bueno. And lastly my beloved. Haha.

Went to my beloved house for dinner just now. Haha meet the parent session. Juz kidding. Dinner was quite enjoyable. After dinner, beloved want to stroll in the park so we went to the park and sat in the vicinity as my beloved held my hand. We chat a lot and show some of the magic tricks I learnt from chuan wei. Beloved always makes me smile. Really. She’s like an angel to me. But we always fail to spend more time together. There’s too little time. Why time passes so fast? I just wanna tell you that you've always been very important to me. And I really want to thank you for bringing so much happiness to me. I apologise if I appeared to be aloof or went missing for some time. But nothing will ever changed. Miss those days where we always have to hide about us. But no more hiding. xing fu qi shi ke yi hen jian dan, and you're the perfect illustration of that.

Think out of the box guys.

wahaha...I am blogging now using my new phone. So in love with it. But still learning how to use it.

This week quite hectic coz of the things that they want us to study and do. I am still hanging on. Dunno how long I can survive. Wednesday was april fool day and as usual it is the day where I will get scolded by many people. Coz of all the lame shit I have done. Later having a bbq. I only invite my army friends coz they are more fun. BUt I wanted to invite damei, ermei and xiaomei, pear, ah poon and vincent but they all are not free. As for the rest...er you all should noe la.

Name: Daniel Yap
Horoscope: Aries
Birthdate: 8-4-1987
Email address

Wish: Meet my Ms Right
Wish: Be happy all the time
Wish: To eat kinder bueno everyday




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